Okay so for once on this blog I’m actually posting a serious blog post. Because I am a human and as we all know all humans have flaws. Sometimes we can slip from what we know is ordinary and socially acceptably normal.

What I’m telling you is from experience I had 2 days ago with a legal high I partially smoked called Herbal Haze. If you don’t know about it, it’s basically meant to be a high which relaxes you, preferably for the aid of sleeping or along them lines. I remember first trying it on New Years with some friends. Now when I smoked it then, it didn’t really phase me. The high mimiced a marijuana high but a lot more buzzy feel if that makes sense. But the day I bought a gram of herbal haze for my personal recreational use turned out a lot more worse than expected. 

Got the gram, got home and kicked my shoes off and rolled a small small joint. I walked into my back garden and to be safe, I smoked only half of it because I was by myself and thought I should be cautious. When I walked back into the house I felt really really spacey. Sat down at my computar desk and for some reason I felt incredibly uncomfortable. I was looking around the room and thinking “Why does nothing my eyes percieve not make sense at all?” I started to panic. I pressed my hand on my chest and felt my heart easily stab through like it were punching through a wall of cotton. Fuck i thought as quickly ran upstairs and lay in my bed staring out into the room. From here I knew I was experiencing a severe bad trip.

(I’ll try to explain what I saw from here as thorough as I can)

So what I saw from my perspective was everything I would normally see but it completely did not make sense. Every single thing I could see were mixing into each other as I turned my head. When I closed my eyes and opened them it seemed to make the trip worse. I shut my eyes and only could here myself breathing heavier and heavier. I tried to think of things to help me elevate this high to a more positive area but instead made it worse. i started to question my existence and my personality and as I did so I felt my life start to erase in front of my eyes. I was questioning reality and my consciousness and felt everything wasn’t worth living for. Literally everything I had experienced in my life (language, pleasure, numbers, tv shows, food, sex, movies, friends, nature, music, politics, clothes, inventions, social trates and literally anything you could think of in the world) suddenly did not make anymore sense to my being. I remember at one point I shouted “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?!?!” as I stared into the ceiling which looked like blackness. I was plunging into nothingness with only the sound of my heartbeat as a metronome, my breathing and the feeling my sanity was fading.

As you could assume, this was not the most pleasant of experiences under the influence. And that’s putting it lightly. It personally thought this trip was literally the most terrifying, horrific and undeniably unsettling thing I’ve ever seen/heard/felt in my entire life.

Afterwards I remember sitting up in bed, clutched my chest and kept preaching to myself every minute saying “wow”. I still do now at some points of the day. 

I researched what I experienced into the web and what came up which was close (I think) was a existential crisis. Which basically means (wikipedia reference) a stage of development at which an individual questions the very foundations of his or her life: whether his or her life has any meaning, purpose or value.

You may be reading this thinking “Why are you telling me this?” I don’t really know myself but I thought it would help me by telling something. Even though if no one reads this, I still feel I’ve helped myself by relieving it from me and writing it out. I just wanted to blog this to see if anyone has had this expierence. Earlier this morning I flushed the rest of the herbal haze down the toilet. I will never ever trust legal highs ever again. I might smoke weed again someday. Not for a while though. If my friends are reading this they might be surprised because I’ve had a reputation for maintaining a strong relationship with sticking to weed instead of alcohol. But I don’t care what you think.

If anyone has had the same experience please reblog or reply/send me a message and tell me your thoughts on this. Have you ever had an existential crisis? Or a bad trip from drugs which resulted into a reflective outlet which helped you look at yourself from a third person sort of perceptive?

Thanks for reading! I rarely do posts like this so if you read this then thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. :D my blog will resume as usual lol

.’x’.

Haha no really. His arm is fucked up so the doctor’s gave him a steroid injection.

My dad’s on drugs lol

.’x’.